45

The number 45 is an interesting number.  It feels different when thought about in different context.  When you think about $45 dollars, you probably think, "ya, that's a little change in my pocket.".  When you think about it as a sale...45% off! "whoo, hooo! That is almost half off!!".  When I contemplated joining Weight Watchers, I took an assessment which said based on the information I entered I needed to lose 45 lbs.  Now, when I thought about 45 in the context of pounds, I thought, "OMG, that is a 5 year old... that is a lot of weight!!"  Now, think about 190 in different context.  No matter what way you think about it, 190 is significant.  That is what the scale read, 190...1-9-0...that is tapping on 200's door! With all of that to consider, I knew I needed to do something!

In June 2011, I signed up for Weight Watchers.  For me, although we were paying for a monthly gym membership, Weight Watchers would hold me accountable.  Why? Because my husband was getting our monies worth out of our gym membership.  He works out more than the average person.  He even won a t-shirt in 2009 for attending the gym the most times that year.  But Weight Watchers would be for me and every time I thought about making a poor food choice, I would think, "I am paying money for Weight Watchers, lets put the french fries down and eat an apple"...lol.  Someone telling me to eat an apple instead of the fries would result in my thinking (or even saying on certain days...lol), "you don't tell me what to do!!"...with an eye roll and all! ..LOL.  It is the money spent.  Wasting money is a pet peeve of mine and although the monthly fee for a Weight Watchers membership is not a huge amount, over time, it really adds up.  For me, accountability would be a HUGE part of my weight loss success.  

It is funny how looking back, I've learned so much about myself.  At 31 years old, you would think you pretty much know yourself.  Through this journey I realized that "baby steps" worked for me.  The thought of the gym last year made me ill.  I despised the thought of sweating and sweating out my hair.... Ewww, gross!  So, I focused on portion control and making healthier food choices... Which is a HUGE part of Weight Watchers.  I became a point hoarder.  I researched and developed meals eating as few points as possible.  I was selfish with my points.  I was not going to spend my daily points on anything that I felt would not be worth it.  Ten points on mac & cheese, no way! But seven points on a grilled chicken sandwich, with fruit and an unsweetened ice tea from Chick-Fil-A...where do I sign up?  Why would I spend ten points of a few bites of mac & cheese when I could have an entire meal for less? 

November rolled around and the scale stopped moving.  What the heck is going on? Yes, I got frustrated that week after week the scale consistently read, 161.4 (until January..that's a long time!).  Was my scale broken? What was going on?  I had realized that it was time to step things up.  Before November, I had not stepped a foot in a gym.  Remember, the thought made me ill, but I knew the day would come.  If I wanted to reach my goal, I had to GET OVER IT!  It was time to take BIG GIRL STEPS. I could have easily thought, "I've lost 28 pounds, without working out, that is good enough."  But I didn't.  The results drove me.  I thought "I am half way there! I can't stop now!" Losing 28 pounds without working out is an awesome accomplishment.  The best part is, I still ate some of the things I loved.  I just modified my portions and planned for it.  Chinese.... Chick-Fil-A....Low Fat Ice Cream... Yum! And moderation is key... if I had a good week, that would be a treat!

Three days a week, my butt was in the gym.  I had worked out a little before getting having children, but never anything serious.  I had never needed to lose 45 pounds....10, 15 pounds, yeah, but never a preschooler.  I would do my 35-40 minutes on the elliptical and I was out! That darn scale still wasn't moving.  My husband said, you need to start weight training.  I thought, "weight training, I don't want to look like a man, but I will do a little".  Still the scale wasn't moving.  My husband who should have a key to our gym because he works out so much, reminded me that muscle weighs more than fat and building muscle will help burn fat.  I trusted him and I listened and I kept with the cardio and weight training.  About 8 weeks in, the scale FINALLY started to move, down, 2, 4.... I had started to FULLY listen to my husbands suggestions.  He was kind enough to craft me a beginners weight training workout and diet.  I had committed to weight training 4-5 days a week and cardio EVERYDAY.  Cardio that included getting up at 5 a.m....OMG!  Yes, I was sore... and it is not easy, but the results motivated me.  I started feeling muscles that I didn't know I had. I started to see definition in places that was once covered with rolls (just speaking the truth).  

Today, I am ONE pound from my goal.  I have become a gym rat and I LOVE every minute of it....the results motivate me.  My husband is my workout partner and I LOVE every minute of that.  Well, he does pluck my nerves sometimes, but we push and motivate each other.  He is trying to keep up with MY progress and I am not going to let him catch me...LOL.  This journey has revealed so much to me. This has kicked my confidence, strength (physical and mental), motivation in all areas of life up 10 notches.  It has taught me about myself... take baby steps, don't over do it and money holds me accountable.  I think what I've learn is pretty universal.  When setting goals, take your time, map out how you are going to reach your goal and find something/someone to hold you accountable.  Last piece of advice is, ladies, don't be afraid of the weights!  My husband says, "Candice you are not going to look like a man by accident."  He is right, women are not build to look like a men... shrugs will not do it, bench press will not do it.  Female bodybuilders do a lot more than weight training to look the way they look.  That did not happen by accident.  I started photography in 2008 (I was about 170 pounds then) and sometime after that I began to hide from other's camera.  I hated the way I looked on camera.  I thought then it was that I just didn't take good pictures.  Oh, it wasn't that.  It was my lack of self confidence due to my weight.  Didn't think that then, but I know that now. 

Wow..that was a long post! This new love of my life has taken away from a lot of free time, which is why my blog is SO behind.  It will get caught up...PROMISE! And what's a blog post with out a few pictures?  

March 2012 at 155 pounds

May 2012 at 150 pounds

Now, how could I have thought that I did not take good pictures!? Thanks to Lisa Marion of Sunshine Photography by Lisa Lynn for taking my picture.  Oh Mrs. Lisa.... I need a current picture! 

OMG, look what I found.  February 2011 at 190 pounds 

Lisa, my photographer, did a nice job composing to accentuate my 190 pounds, but there I am, a few months before my journey started!

If you stuck in there with me this long...thanks for reading.  I hope this blog post inspires someone out there to reach a goal!